On Being Married: Life Update
Hey I made it in under a year so that is improvement! Been without internet in the new place so its been hard to find time to make updates.
Anyway, quick update on what’s going on. As most of you know I got married sometime back in January. It has been a great experience; I have never undertaken a more challenging or rewarding endeavor in my life. They talk about how much marriage changes you, but I did not really believe them. That was until I was married. The constant practice of putting another first changes how you look at the rest of the world. I have always tried to take care of others around me, be generous and caring, but I always got to go home and take time off. When you are married you do not get that and that is a good thing. Learning to live for another has helped my faith and made me a better person. It does not hurt that my wife is probably the sweetest and most giving person on the planet. She takes care of the house every day before I get home from work, lately I have been asking her to leave chores for me once I get home just so I can feel like I am contributing. At first I had a really hard time learning to share a bed with another person. I am not the heaviest sleeper in the world and my wife does barrel rolls all night long which made for a very tired me for the first month of marriage. Now I have a hard time sleeping by myself. She went out of town the other weekend and I think I got four hours of sleep the whole time.
The largest struggle has probably been integrating the families. I love her family and she loves mine (in fact my family jokes that if things do not work out they are keeping her instead, at least I think that they are joking.) The hard part is that each family has a set of demands and events that they expect you to meet/attend. Now when we were both single and doing the long distance thing it was pretty easy to balance. We could both go to our respective families things alone and if the other person could make it, great. Now we find ourselves having to say no a lot more often as we try to balance time with both families and time to spend just together. It’s amazing how hard time together can be to find if you do not make a point of creating it, everyone around you will schedule away all your time if you let them. Really though things have been great and I have nothing to complain about.
Quick note: if you are looking for a good book to help you be a better spouse, I highly recommend I Isaac Take Thee Rebekah by Ravi Zacharias.
We got a dog about a month ago as well. He is awesome. His name is Talon and he is a Catahoula.
He is creepily smart, he potty trained himself at the shelter using a doggie door; within twelve hours of owning him he knew which apartment was ours and how to get there from anywhere in the compound; within forty-eight hours he knew sit, down, stay, kennel, and load up commands and he is only three months old. The only problem is that sometimes he is too smart and does not bother to listen to you, he just stares at you with that I know what you want me to do but tough luck look that toddlers and teenagers are so good at. (My wife tells me the husbands are good at it too but I do not believe her.) He is one of the most timid animals I have ever owned but he is slowly coming out of that as we introduce he to more and more people. He is also really mellow when indoors (which is nice in an apartment) but really energetic outdoors, he walks and hikes with us on a regular basis. Part of that mellow thing is that he sleeps all the time, you can barely sit down without him plopping down on top of your feet and crashing. It really is not a problem now, but I am pretty sure that once he hits the 70+ pound range I am either going to have to keep my feet on the coffee table or learn to enjoy not having circulation in my feet.
Anyway, that’s all I have for the “this is my life segment.” Now that I am under a year between posts I can make them even more regular. Here’s hoping.
Anyway, quick update on what’s going on. As most of you know I got married sometime back in January. It has been a great experience; I have never undertaken a more challenging or rewarding endeavor in my life. They talk about how much marriage changes you, but I did not really believe them. That was until I was married. The constant practice of putting another first changes how you look at the rest of the world. I have always tried to take care of others around me, be generous and caring, but I always got to go home and take time off. When you are married you do not get that and that is a good thing. Learning to live for another has helped my faith and made me a better person. It does not hurt that my wife is probably the sweetest and most giving person on the planet. She takes care of the house every day before I get home from work, lately I have been asking her to leave chores for me once I get home just so I can feel like I am contributing. At first I had a really hard time learning to share a bed with another person. I am not the heaviest sleeper in the world and my wife does barrel rolls all night long which made for a very tired me for the first month of marriage. Now I have a hard time sleeping by myself. She went out of town the other weekend and I think I got four hours of sleep the whole time.
The largest struggle has probably been integrating the families. I love her family and she loves mine (in fact my family jokes that if things do not work out they are keeping her instead, at least I think that they are joking.) The hard part is that each family has a set of demands and events that they expect you to meet/attend. Now when we were both single and doing the long distance thing it was pretty easy to balance. We could both go to our respective families things alone and if the other person could make it, great. Now we find ourselves having to say no a lot more often as we try to balance time with both families and time to spend just together. It’s amazing how hard time together can be to find if you do not make a point of creating it, everyone around you will schedule away all your time if you let them. Really though things have been great and I have nothing to complain about.
Quick note: if you are looking for a good book to help you be a better spouse, I highly recommend I Isaac Take Thee Rebekah by Ravi Zacharias.
We got a dog about a month ago as well. He is awesome. His name is Talon and he is a Catahoula.
He is creepily smart, he potty trained himself at the shelter using a doggie door; within twelve hours of owning him he knew which apartment was ours and how to get there from anywhere in the compound; within forty-eight hours he knew sit, down, stay, kennel, and load up commands and he is only three months old. The only problem is that sometimes he is too smart and does not bother to listen to you, he just stares at you with that I know what you want me to do but tough luck look that toddlers and teenagers are so good at. (My wife tells me the husbands are good at it too but I do not believe her.) He is one of the most timid animals I have ever owned but he is slowly coming out of that as we introduce he to more and more people. He is also really mellow when indoors (which is nice in an apartment) but really energetic outdoors, he walks and hikes with us on a regular basis. Part of that mellow thing is that he sleeps all the time, you can barely sit down without him plopping down on top of your feet and crashing. It really is not a problem now, but I am pretty sure that once he hits the 70+ pound range I am either going to have to keep my feet on the coffee table or learn to enjoy not having circulation in my feet.
Anyway, that’s all I have for the “this is my life segment.” Now that I am under a year between posts I can make them even more regular. Here’s hoping.
posted by jonathan | 2:39 PM
2 Comments:
I cracked up a bit and a few times reading this post. Being married for almost four years now I haven't really thought about all the stuff we went through at the beginning -and it sounds a lot like your post. Especially the sleeping thing. However, we went for almost 3 years before spending a night apart and it was the hardest thing ever. We still won't do it unless it is completely unavoidable.
Anyway, very good post. It sounds like you two are off to a very wonderful start. I'm really happy for that and for you.
Much love to you and yours.
yeah, even being warned about the sleeping thing doesn't help. I guess that's the one good thing about being unemployed - you get to take naps to make up for it. :)
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