Wanderer in Shadowlands

Waxing Philosophical: On the telling of stories.

2008-06-05T15:47:00.000-07:00

Authors Note: This is simply opinion piece. If you disagree with me I would love to hear about in the comments section.

-This needs a little editing still but I wanted to get it up before I was out of internet contact all weekend.

After reading a rather thought provoking article recently, I was completely convinced of the thing that really speaks to us in life is stories. Not that this is a new, striking or particularly deep epiphany, it just one that seems to hold an increasing weight in my life. The article that it came from was talking about how things like alternate realty games (ARGs) and elaborate hoaxes can seem so real not because they have solid evidence backing them, but because they are normally well written emotional stories and anecdotes.

Take for example the radio drama or Orson Welles War of the Worlds. Now had that been perpetrated by a man who just broadcast a list of facts in a monotone voice over the radio, no one would have believed it. Most would have just been confused or turned it off in boredom. However, since the drama was presented with such an elaborate story surrounding it, one that touched on the childhood fantasies and nightmares of its audience, not to mention the compelling acting of the presenter; people everywhere fell under its spell. It did not matter how far out there or strange the story seemed. The story was enthralling and consistent with itself and that was good enough for the people listening.

Trial lawyers are another example of just how compelling stories really are. They are some of the best paid people in our society and what are they paid to do? They are paid to create stories from evidence. I bet in the past a lot of the people hired to be lawyers now would have been masterful raconteurs and entertainers. In all honesty people could care less whether or not the persons DNA, fingerprints, micro-fibers, or signed confession was found at the scene. They want to hear from the lawyer how the accused was connected to the victim, what his motivations were, what his feelings are, how the DNA got at the scene, and why that matters; they want a story. They do not want a story to be entertained (at least we can hope not.) They want a story because the evidence from that is how they best know to make the right decisions. In fact most people will tell you that jury’s are not normally swayed by the hard evidence, but by the testimonies and accounts of eye witnesses, which is the most unreliable form of evidence. This is why defenses love CSI. CSI already gives you a picture of how evidence should come down the line, and makes you think that the ends should all wrap up together in a nice episodic format, just like a TV show. Even some of the most “simpler” cases that your average prosecutor or investigator is involved in is more difficult to present and confirm than some of the most convoluted episodes. It essentially allows them to open hard evidence to an eyewitness-esque attack.

Please do not get me wrong, I love CSI. I watched through the first seven seasons without missing an episode. It is a highly entertaining and can often be a thought provoking show. What makes that show great though is exactly the thing I am talking about here. If the show was just the crew collecting evidence at a murder scene, taking it and handing it over to the detectives in charge of the case, and occasionally testifying in court about their findings; it would have been the worst show on television. Instead of that we get the initial discovery of the body, an awesome one liner from Grissom (or Mac or Horatio if you like one of the other two better), bunch of cool experiments and test with really quick results, flashes of how the case happened, the arrest, the questioning of the suspects (which the CSI would most likely not be involved in in real life), and at the end we get the dramatic reveal and the final thought provoking comment. That’s why we love the show, and that’s why we are constantly coming back. We want to see what the new story of the week is and we want to see the stories of the investigators lives unfold through the cases they investigate.

I thought the only exception to this might be the people that are Halo junkies. They do not care about what’s happening to their guy running around the screen, they do not care how cerebral (or un-cerebral as the case may be) the story line is. All they care about is blowing people up, winning matches, and unlocking achievements. Then I realized that stories matter just as much to them as anyone else, they just like to build their own stories. Really that is all the bragging rights that they work so hard to achieve are. Just ask one of them. They would love to tell you about their twenty-one “headshot” match and how they found the perfect sniping perch. The will keep you up all night telling you about the conversations that they have over their headsets at two in the morning after they finished a case of Rockstar and how hilarious it really was. (That is till they see you starring off into space or rolling you eyes when they will abruptly finish with “Dude, if you would have been there you would have understood.”) The stories matter as much to them, they just want to get them in a different way. (And really, the same thing goes for avid hikers, rock climbers, surfers, authors, and racers.)

As I have been thinking about all this it really makes me appreciate how brilliant Jesus communicating in parables really was. If he had come down, gathered a crowd, looked them all in the eyes, and then said “I will give you faith and its going to grow;” People would have looked at him confused and then asked how or what that looked like. However, when he told them that faith was like a mustard seed in that it starts small and gets big, or that it is like seeds that grow after being spread in different places, people started getting it. Not perfectly, since most of them still needed it explained, but it started and continued till now. People knew what it is like to see something grow or fail to grow, it painted a picture in their head, gave them a story that they could relate to. The same thing goes for the coins given to the servants, both faithful and unfaithful. Not every one in the group could quite gel with the idea that what God had given them was gong to be demanded back, but they all knew what it was like to have a boss. Suddenly these abstract, hard to comprehend, or just difficult to apply practically ideas of faith and responsibility started to become real.

It goes beyond the parables too. Very few places in the Bible do you see God just list a bunch of do’s and do not’s. You may point out that Leviticus is a listing of commandments (even though it is still in a narrative fashion) but try looking at it this way; most of the rest of the Old Testament is made up of stories of what happens when people do or do not live up to these commandments and stories of people living their lives and the influence that God has on them and how them changes them to become His. It is what makes these commandments real to the reader. The New Testament also, has six books entirely made up of stories or narratives; Matthew, Mark, John, Luke leading into Acts, and Revelations. That is pretty close to 75% of the Bible being stories. And even the Epistles paint a good picture of the struggles of the churches or people it is addressed to and the road they need to take to get back to the place where God intended them to be, or get to it in the first place.

This is one of the main reasons I get annoyed with so many people ignoring the Old Testament. If stories are the main things that influence our lives, why do so many of us ignore the part of the Bible that contains most of the stories. I once attended a church for a number of months and started keeping track of how long they went without even referencing an OT story. There was a span of nearly three months where they went without even acknowledging the majority of the OT existed. (To be fair they did reference the Psalms and Proverbs but nothing else.) In this same time I watched six different movie clips, heard about fourteen sports stories, four Max Lucado stories, and every week heard a personal story from the speaker. Now I am not discouraging the uses of any of these things. There are plenty of good authors’ short stories or excerpts from novels can make a sermon extremely powerful; I taught a class on how to use movies and TV shows to witness or spark discussions with the people around you; I think sports can be extremely inspirational; and, as I have talked about before, if God is the author of our lives we would be completely remiss not to use our own experiences and interests in sharing him with others. But, when you use all of these things and neglect utilizing a large percentage of the Bible, I believe you have committed a grievous error. Especially for three months straight.

So if you find yourself wondering how to talk to someone you encounter and fear you have nothing in common with them, try telling a story.

On Being Married: Life Update

2008-05-30T14:39:00.000-07:00

Hey I made it in under a year so that is improvement! Been without internet in the new place so its been hard to find time to make updates.

Anyway, quick update on what’s going on. As most of you know I got married sometime back in January. It has been a great experience; I have never undertaken a more challenging or rewarding endeavor in my life. They talk about how much marriage changes you, but I did not really believe them. That was until I was married. The constant practice of putting another first changes how you look at the rest of the world. I have always tried to take care of others around me, be generous and caring, but I always got to go home and take time off. When you are married you do not get that and that is a good thing. Learning to live for another has helped my faith and made me a better person. It does not hurt that my wife is probably the sweetest and most giving person on the planet. She takes care of the house every day before I get home from work, lately I have been asking her to leave chores for me once I get home just so I can feel like I am contributing. At first I had a really hard time learning to share a bed with another person. I am not the heaviest sleeper in the world and my wife does barrel rolls all night long which made for a very tired me for the first month of marriage. Now I have a hard time sleeping by myself. She went out of town the other weekend and I think I got four hours of sleep the whole time.

The largest struggle has probably been integrating the families. I love her family and she loves mine (in fact my family jokes that if things do not work out they are keeping her instead, at least I think that they are joking.) The hard part is that each family has a set of demands and events that they expect you to meet/attend. Now when we were both single and doing the long distance thing it was pretty easy to balance. We could both go to our respective families things alone and if the other person could make it, great. Now we find ourselves having to say no a lot more often as we try to balance time with both families and time to spend just together. It’s amazing how hard time together can be to find if you do not make a point of creating it, everyone around you will schedule away all your time if you let them. Really though things have been great and I have nothing to complain about.

Quick note: if you are looking for a good book to help you be a better spouse, I highly recommend I Isaac Take Thee Rebekah by Ravi Zacharias.

We got a dog about a month ago as well. He is awesome. His name is Talon and he is a Catahoula.
He is creepily smart, he potty trained himself at the shelter using a doggie door; within twelve hours of owning him he knew which apartment was ours and how to get there from anywhere in the compound; within forty-eight hours he knew sit, down, stay, kennel, and load up commands and he is only three months old. The only problem is that sometimes he is too smart and does not bother to listen to you, he just stares at you with that I know what you want me to do but tough luck look that toddlers and teenagers are so good at. (My wife tells me the husbands are good at it too but I do not believe her.) He is one of the most timid animals I have ever owned but he is slowly coming out of that as we introduce he to more and more people. He is also really mellow when indoors (which is nice in an apartment) but really energetic outdoors, he walks and hikes with us on a regular basis. Part of that mellow thing is that he sleeps all the time, you can barely sit down without him plopping down on top of your feet and crashing. It really is not a problem now, but I am pretty sure that once he hits the 70+ pound range I am either going to have to keep my feet on the coffee table or learn to enjoy not having circulation in my feet.

Anyway, that’s all I have for the “this is my life segment.” Now that I am under a year between posts I can make them even more regular. Here’s hoping.

And I am back...

2007-10-18T13:52:00.000-07:00

Warning: This is a super long post, do not feel obligated to hang on to my every word (though I would if I were you.)

TheMain Rant:
The Desire of the Real

I think that part of what makes posting online so interesting to some people is how easy it is to reinvent yourself. I think it is what makes it so hard for me to post sometimes. It’s like I only want to post on a given site, forum, or whatever if I match up to the persona that I have invented for myself on that particular site. Sometimes, I just try to be overly deep and when I am not feeling that way I cannot post. Or I feel on a site where nobody really knows my love of football that I cannot talk about it there. When I moved over to a blog from a live journal, it was so that I could be more serious in my communications with the outside world. However, there are decidedly goofy, ironic, and facetious parts of my personality that I felt obligated to hide. I mean it seems really odd but that is how I felt, which made me feel reluctant to post here. So I would post on forums to talk about certain things, add movie and TV reviews to other sites when I wanted to do that, drop comments onto ESPN when it was about football (or recently the Rockies.)

Then I started realizing that I really was not conveying the whole of my personality to anyone out there. There was sports me, philosophical me, techie me, movie junkie me, etc. I think a lot of people do this though, they get to hop online and become someone else for a little while, and sometimes that can be a good thing. Most of the time it can be a bad thing though, I have encountered (and been) more volatile and hostile people on the internet than anywhere else. I think it is because it is too easy to pretend that there are not people on the other end of your online conversations, or you just think that they are being someone else too, so you can say whatever you want to them and still be ok because it will not actually hurt their feelings or anything. But there are actual people on the other end that need things like friends, hope, love, faith and a million other things that people (including myself) seem to be unable to communicate over the internet because we feel as if we do not need to be real here. It is my challenge to me to be more real here and everywhere else that I interact on the internet. The stakes are two high not too. The beauty of the internet is that we can use to communicate to so many people that we would normally never be able to reach, why would we waste this opportunity being anything less than the people that we are and God intended us to be?
*steps off soapbox*

Other things on my mind…

Sports:
I have never been a huge baseball fan. That being said I feel incredibly lucky to be living in Colorado right now and be watching the history making run of the Rockies up to and through the playoffs. It is amazing to see and entire team come together and just dominate at a sport the way the Rockies have lately. If you have watched any game the Rockies have been in in the last month you know that you are watching something special. Any given game there is a different set of players getting to play “hero.” So even though I am normally against fair-weather and bandwagon fans, Go Rockies!

Speaking of historical feats, The Patriots this year are just amazing to watch. I mean I have never seen such well executed football in my life. It is almost like watching someone play a madden game where they have used every cheat card they possibly can. There just seems to be no stopping them. Randy Moss has definitely proven to all his naysayers that he has not lost a step. Brady has evolved far beyond the quarterback he was in his first Super Bowl runs, it is just incredible. There defense is just a thing of beauty, people are just where they are supposed to be when they are supposed to be and making the plays. The coaching is just superb (even with the cheating scandal this season, which most people seem not to be thinking about anymore and maybe they shouldn’t, the punishments have been handed out, the tapes seized, let just move on.) I do not even know what else to say except for the fact that I cannot wait to see them play the Colts in a just a few short weeks.

And in other football notes, my beloved Bronco’s continue to struggle with their defensive line, and by struggle I mean that it is basically a sieve. Here’s to hoping that the bye week is enough to let them reset and maybe, you know, give up less than 200 yards a game rushing. Other than that, I think we have a shot. Our running game is a thing of beauty (even with a guy that who has 9 children with as many different women and is accused of smoking pot and might get suspended. *sigh*) And it has depth with Selvin Young, who has all the speed and strength that makes a premier back. Jay Cutler has the potential to be one of the greats, his arm is like a cannon and most the time he has very good touch on the ball, now if he could cut down on the picks a little bit things would be great. Brandon Marshall is just a beast, I do not think I have seen him tackled by less than two guys yet, and the catches he is making are just incredible. Javon Walker (who has missed two games due to injury) is the real deal. Once he is back up and running I think that we can still make a run for the playoffs… I hope.

Movies:
I have seen more bad movies than I care to admit lately. Let me just say right now, if you have not seen Good Luck Chuck or The Heartbreak Kid consider yourself lucky. Both are absolutely awful. As far as Chuck goes, the movie resorted to only dirty jokes that are not funny, whether it was the clichéd shallow, ugly, loser best friend who is obsessed with boobs or the references to bestiality, there was just nothing funny. It also left tons of things hanging in the air and while you do not go to a comedy expecting an in depth plot or wildly original ideas, a little bit of resolution would be nice. For The Heartbreak Kid, well its biggest misstep was vilifying the protagonist and building sympathy for the wife, who the first half of the movie and in all the previews was portrayed as the villain. By the end of the move all you wanted to see was Ben Stiller’s character end up alone with all the women featured in the movie finding someone decent to end up with. The claim was made that it was “Finally, an R-rated comedy made for adults.” But it was wrong, it is just a juvenile as all of the other R-rated comedies out there.

The Gameplan was a very entertaining movie. The acting is not great (though I have seen much worse.) The plot line is not going to shock you with its twists (one part did catch me a little off guard.) But if you need something light and to give you the “warm fuzzies” I cannot recommend a better movie. Plus, it is always good to see a movie where the father actually steps up and tires to be the dad, not just the jerk who runs off and leaves his family.

Also Hot Fuzz is surprisingly good. Much more intelligent satire of the cop movie and much less slapstick than I anticipated. Totally worth the price of picking it up off of the Blockbuster shelves.

Highly anticipating the new J.J. Abrams movie. Maybe I am a sucker for viral marketing, but I cannot wait to find out what it is. Google Cloverfield if you have not heard about it yet.

TV: (may contain spoilers, if you are still catching up on a show, skip that section.)

Heroes is back on again, and still going strong. At times it seems like there might be too many characters, but they have done a good job of brining groups together to help stream line the story in the last couple of episodes. Maya and Alejandro maybe be the most boring of the new characters. And I swear if I have to see the whole sequence of her losing it, crying black tears, killing people, and him absorbing it all while holding her hands and telling her to clam down, I am going to scream. I understand she has a hard time controlling her powers, I get the point, please don’t make me watch that five minute sequence again.

Hiro remains the most interesting character on the show, with Peter a close second. Peter semi embrace of his darker side, along with the reclamation of his memories has been great, though I wonder how much longer they are going to drag out his eventual return to New York. Mohinder, Molly, and Matt’s story line has probably been the biggest surprise for me this season. Between the “nightmare man” and the revelation of his identity, Mohinder’s infiltration of The Company, the meshing of the two men with completely different strategies on how to handle things, and Molly trapped inside her own mind it is very entertaining.

With the revelation of Parkman’s father being one of the original twelve in the company, only Nikki and DL are left of the original hero set that have “unpowered” parents. However we have yet to meet Nikki’s mother or DL’s father. Also, Parkman is the first person with a power that is related to his parent’s power (with the possible exception of Peter and his father.)

Grey’s Anatomy has started off with a big disappointment this season. With the loss of Dr. Burke (Isaiah Washington) from the cast, Christina Yang (Sandrah Oh) has become the most boring and superficial character on the show. It is kind of sad to see her character go from being plot centric to peripheral. The loss of Addison Shepherd (Kate Walsh) has also been noticeable, though she was a far too strong and beloved of a character not to have her own show.

I am fully convinced that Grey’s melts your brain. I cannot stop watching that show. I avoided it the first three seasons, but I had purchased my fiancé the whole show on DVD. She finally convinced me to watch the pilot episode and I was hooked. I tore through all three seasons (by myself) in about two weeks. It was obscene. Here is the weird part though. I can only think of four or five characters on the show that I actually like, that is less than half the cast (Granted two of the characters I really like left the show recently.) Oh, and none of those characters is the one that the show is named after. In fact, I think Meredith Grey is one of the most selfish, whiny characters to exist in the history of television. I think it is the plot lines that keep me going. That and the self assured, bragging sense of humor of Dr. Derek Shepherd (not to be confused with Jack Shepherd of Lost fame), the verbal smack downs of Dr. Bailey, Or the cocky exteriors with the nice guy underneath of Drs. Sloan and Karev. See what this show has done to me? Final note: The affair between Izzy Stevens (Katharine Heigel) and George O’Mally (T.R. Knight) is the most preposterous thing on TV right now (including the stuff on the SciFi channel.) Note to all the screen writers out there, if you are going to start an affair between two characters on a TV show, make sure that the sexual orientations and personal relationships of all the actors involved are not being dragged across the screens on a regular basis, it makes it really hard to suspend disbelief.

House continues to be the best show on television. If you have not started watching it yet, I just have one question for you, What are you waiting for? Get out there and pick it up. Catch up and watch the 4th season, or just jump in on Tuesdays. Solid writing, amazing acting, humor, drama, this show will seriously make you laugh out loud and cry. Get out there and get on it. Besides his team is still in the episodes, it’s just not his team any more, and you know what? I think it made the show better. Hugh Laurie's acting is perfect, the easiest character on TV to suspend disbelief with, and the supporting cast they built around him only enhances his awe inspiring performance. I have never enjoed a single character centric show as much as I have enjoyed House. Start watching. I cannot say enough about this show, so I wont even try. Seriously though, go watch it.

Life and Pushing Daises seem like the two most promising new shows this season. Life is a cop drama with a main character a lot like House (well without the vicodin addiction or the meanness.) He is quirky, he’s fun, and he’s a genius. Good times for all. You also have a serialized case every week as well as an overarching mystery/ conspiracy theory about how he got incarcerated all those years ago. Its intelligent, entertaining, deep, suspenseful, check it out. Pushing Daises, well I am a little late in this but as a friend of mine pointed out, it’s like a mix between CSI and a fairy tale. Plus, it probably has the best cinematography on TV. Highly recommended.

Moonlight has been holding my interest too, a good vampire/ PI show. Like Angel but a little less brooding and less interference from uber powerful beings. Great examination of what it is life to be lonely in life and the need for human contact and interaction.

Finally, there is Friday Night Lights. I watched the season premier where it quickly turned itself into the OC when one of the characters committed a murder and then tried to cover it up. I have not turned it on since. If someone out there watches it and it improves let me know. Other wise I will assume that it jumped the shark and has now gone off the deep end to try and boost ratings. It just makes me sad that a show that was based in so much solid family drama, good (albiet sometimes unrealistic) football scences, and well acted, realistic characters is content to make itself another "teen" drama. Hopefully they pull it together soon and go back to their roots. I will hold out hope.

Future posts with hopefull be shorter and more often. Until next time, catch you in cyberspace.

The Desire To Journey

2006-10-05T07:35:00.000-07:00

Can we take a ride? Get out of this place while we still have time. - Jimmy Eat World, Work

I really want to get in my car, pick a direction, and just drive. I don't think I would stop until I hit a coastline or border. It's not that my life is horrible or anything and I want to get away from it. My life is actually rather pleasant. I have a decent job (it's just rather boring), I have a great group of friends, an amazing girlfriend, lots of food, a place to live, even a car I really like. I just want something else in there too. I want an adventure. I don't really care how it turns out, I just want something different.

I think it is because I feel as if my life is in a holding pattern. I can only take so many classes a semester because I have to work full time, so my degree is taking awhile to get done. I am not ready to get married, and every time I have tried to get a ministry job, it seems to fall through. I know I am supposed to keep at it, it just all seems to be waiting for something.

Maybe it is just part of me rebelling against the acceptance of an "adult" lifestyle. On the other hand, I am only 22, I feel I should get a little more time to live on the edge too. Hopefully here in the next 12 months, a friend and I will get to go on a road trip. If not, I may just save and take a month off and just go. It is almost as if it is a right of passage for me, a chance to accept what my life will be next. Every major change in my life has had a road trip in it; Going to college, getting a second chance with the girl I love, leaving school (one of the harder decisions I have had to make), even my grandmother's funeral; all have involved a road trip. It may be that I want this trip, this adventure, so I can make the transition to the next step in my life mentally. It may be this desire for an adventure is what I need so that I can be successful in my ministry to others. I just know that soon, I have to take this trip.

If any of you ever have this desire, take the time to do it. Even if its just a short thing. Give yourself a chance to get away and move. Give yourself a chance to reflect and regenerate away from it all. Give yourself a chance to grow.

In other news...
I have been writing more again. I have done a couple of new poems, experiments really, I think they suck but I may post them and some of my old ones up here. I have also been working on writing a novel. Sort of a super-hero story with a twist, a little darker of a story meant to convey some hope. I may post a chapter or two if people seem interested.

Speaking of Heroes I love the new NBC show. I am such sucker for super-hero stories it ridiculous. I am really excited to see the story progress. The acting so far has been solid and believable. The raw human emotion in the characters stories really helps the show come to life. And the subtle introductions of powers and the confusion of the people who have them is great, cause if one day I could move time back a second I would freak out too. And its always nice to see people, even fictional ones realize they are a part of something bigger and that their lives have meaning. It is worth watching. 9/8c on NBC.

Quote of the day...

2006-09-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

"Stones are
primordial matter.
Sand is matter
ground by the infinity
of time. It makes one
mindful of eternity.
Sand is matter,
which has been
transformed and has
almost become
liquid and spiritual."

Unknown

Side Note: I went 9-16 on my picks for the games last weekend, I will see if I can do better this week.

Football and other stuff

2006-09-07T13:03:00.000-07:00

First of all let me warn you right now. DO NOT see The Wickerman. It is terrible. It never takes a plot twist you don't see coming. The end just falls flat. There is no residual "creepy feeling' that you associate with a good scary movie, and Nick Cage, who I normally love, seems a little over the top and outshines the rest of the cast. Just don't eve bother. If you want to waste the 8 bucks, go buy four Power Ball tickets, you might get something out of them.

Next...

I have decided to start making football predictions at the beginning of every week. Its a experiment to see if I can guess as well as the "professionals." Wish me luck.

Miami at Pittsburgh- Mia, I think the Fins can take a Big Ben-less Steelers

Baltimore at Tampa Bay- TB, Going with the Bucs, its going to be a close one though good luck Simms

Atlanta at Carolina- Car, Got to go with the Panthers, don't think Vick can do it when they force him to stay in the pocket

Denver at St. Louis- Den, I will never go against my Broncos

Buffalo at New England- NE, never underestimate Tom Brady

Philadelphia at Houston- Philly, I will take McNabb over Carr any day, sorry Kubiack

New Orleans at Cleveland- NO, go Bush! Plus its the Browns...

Seattle at Detroit- Sea, Watch out Alexander, you can avoid the Madden curse

NY Jets at Tennesse- Ten, they have a solid D and I can never go with a team who doesn't even have the state they actually play in mentioned.

Cincinnati at Kansas City- Cin, besides the fact I want KC to lose, Carson Palmer has something to prove, that he can recover.

Chicago at Green Bay- Chi, Sorry Farve, I want you to win but your team just doesn't have it

Dallas at Jacksonville- Dallas, TO won't make Dallas implode until at least game 6

San Francisco at Arizona- Ari, I like how the looked in the off season and I like Kurt Warner

Indy at NY Giants- Indy, I got to give the Manning Bowl (Peyton vs Eli) to Peyton.

Minnesota at Washington- Wash. Sorry Vikings but I don't think you have it this year, and the Skins are stacked

San Diego at Oakland- SD, since it isn't possible for both to lose I will give it to the team least likely to implode

Now I will say I will get half of these wrong. Wish me luck ;).

Finally, House is Back on Fox. I love this show, and Hugh Laurie is amazing. If you haven't seen it, tune into your local Fox station at 8/7C (new time) and give it a chance. And don't be worried if you hear something this week about alien DNA, it won't go all SciFi on you, I promise.

Carpe Diem

2006-08-07T13:32:00.000-07:00

No other road, no other way, no day but today - Rent

In the past month and a half I have been obsessed with watching movies about making the most of everyday. I found myself in danger of going into "auto-pilot." The phenomenon where suddenly you wake up 35 years old married with two children, in a job that was never really what you wanted to do, with a series of casual friends who don't really know the real you, and wonder how you got there, cause you swear yesterday you were playing Madden in your friend's basement... Eager not to wake up with my youth mostly squandered I felt it necessary to take some basic actions. Quickly perusing my Bible I found a handful of verses helping to remind me to make the most of my days. However, even though I truly believe that the Bible is able to be a stand alone source, I have always figured God gave man creativity so that we could find new way in which to touch one another's lives and learn more about him. I am a huge movie fan and therefore went on a quest to find movies that remind me to make the most of my life. Below is the list of movies I have found to date, so that if you ever find yourself in this position you may be able to find help. Also please post if you have any additions.

Click - I normally avoid recommending Adam Sandler movies, but this one helped start the whole thought process, and touched me on a level few movies do. Not your typical Sandler slapstick.

It's a Wonderful Life - A classic I am sure you have all seen. But a good reminder to the impact your life can have on others.

Proof - Fantastic acting and a great line about "wasted days." Credit goes to Raj on finding this one.

Eternal Sunshine on the Spotless Mind - Great movie to help remind you that actions have consequences and the past is to be learned from, not forgotten. And that it is never to late to move forward.

Garden State - A movie to reflect on growing up, and a reminder to never leave what you want and need as a period or an ellipses.

The Legend of Bagger Vance - Find yourself, commit to something, lay your burdens down, move forward. (Don't let the golf background turn you away, it is really a movie about life.)
Rent - Great lines about moving on and making the most of your days, for they are numbered. Plus if you are not reminded of how much people need help and light in their lives after seeing this movie, seek help.

And last but not least....

Dead Poets Society - It is such an obvious choice, but if the carpe diem scenes don't give you chills, you may be dead. Even the tragedy in the student who doesn't really get it helps you to remember to "seize the day."

God speed my friends in the journeys of your lives, I pray that you will find the path God has intended for you and that you may find your "authentic" self. Never shy away from the pain or trials that may come your way. Never settle for any less that what God has intended for you. Know I will always love you all. I pray we will get opportunities to take part of our journey together, and if not I hope we can stay in touch and support one another through prayer. I look forward to seeing you in the clearing at the end of the path, if not sooner.

The Longing

2006-04-20T13:27:00.000-07:00

My insides are copper and I'd kill to make them gold, - Fallout Boy

I have a problem listening to most worship songs. It's a personal problem. I know a lot of people love songs where they can say "This is the air I breath," or "With each breath I'll praise you more," or even "This is all I have to give, and that's my everything." And they should love them. If they can immerse themselves in the words and come to worship God with them, they should. I envy them. I can't. Whenever words like that come out of my mouth they feel hollow. It's the letter "I" (technically in this context it's a word.) Well that's part of it. The problem with saying "I" for me is that I am very unreliable. I am tempted to think of myself all the time as it is. For twenty to thirty minutes on Sunday morning, and when I pop a CD into the player, I don't want to think about me. I want a few minutes to remember that its not about me, that everything I have as a Christian is not my doing. Its a direct result of who God is and what He does.

I think I could edit the words of the song and make them work for me. Like "This should be the air I breath," or I should praise you more," but it loses a bit of the poetry. Maybe the problem is myself, I can't set aside the memory of my faults long enough to worship. Maybe other people sin less than me and can put it aside easier. It is just so much more beneficial for me to remind myself of who God is. That's what changes me, not my half sung promises. I just wish I enjoyed both types of songs.

Have you ever noticed how some people not only expect the worst, but seem to want it. They crave it. They need something bad to happen. Why? Probably because they hate the people that they are. Most people are disappointed in themselves. They wish they did more, worked harder, thought deeper, believed more completely etc. When they fail to live up to those they hate it. But most people (myself included) are lazy. They don't want to actually work for those things. So then they go see movies like Lord of the Rings or Chronicles of Narnia and they think, "Look at those people, they are cool. If the world was ending I could be like that too." Well at least I have thought that. So then they want bad things to happen. Like all technology going to crap and we go back to killing each other with swords and harvesting our own food. Then with everything on the line they would have to step up and be better. It's really a silly idea, but think about it, I bet you have thought like that too. The fact of the matter is, if a world devastating event happened a lot of people would die simply cause they didn't feel like adapting to the way things turned out.

I think the point of both subjects I've talked about is this. People want to change. Most of us are lacking but don't know how to change or (more likely) just don't want to work at it. So we look at other people and wish to be like them, envy them, or we hope something will happen that will force us to change. At the end of the day, you have the final say on whether or not you change. God helps, He gives us every opportunity to, but He won't make you.

In Other news...
The makers of Ocean's 11 and 12, decided that they didn't have enough star power for the third installment, Ocean's 13 , and decided to add Al Pachino to the cast. I still don't think its a fair trade off for Cathrine Zeta- Jones or Julia Roberts, who both will not be returning.

If you haven't headr yet, Joss Whedon creator of Buffy, Angel, and Firefly and the movies related, will be directing and writing for the upcoming Wonder Woman movie. Which is almost enough reason to go see it.

I am looking for a job in ministry that I can work while I finish my degree. If you hear of any let me know.

I've no blood left to bleed...

2006-04-06T08:45:00.000-07:00

...'cause my hearts been draining into the sea. -Rise Against

My life has hit one of those periods that, when I reach the end of my life, I will look back and remember it well. I had already been in a rather introspective part of my life. Mostly due to the books I have been reading lately. Fiction helps teach me about my own life in ways I could not have imagined back in high school. As characters deal with the darkness inside themselves, the consequences of theirs choices, or simply how to face a new problem, I find my thoughts turning to those things within myself. But what I think I will look back and see as a turning point, long after the title and content of those books is lost somewhere inside my head, is the phone call I received Sunday afternoon.

It was very much like a movie, I remember thinking that at the time, mostly cause I think I went almost immediately into shock. (It's very strange what your mind comes up with when you are in shock.) Anyway, I answer my phone, laughing at my friend who the waitress keeps flirting with. My mom and I now attend different churches most Sundays so it is not uncommon for her to call why she is on her way home and I am at lunch, so I wasn't prepared for anything out of the ordinary. In a tear strangled sob my mom says "Grammy died." I was hardly prepared for the statement, let alone that blunt manner it was presented in, my mom is rarely that blunt. I had my mom repeat the statement to make sure I had heard her right, and then sat and stared at my iced tea for the next minute before my brain kicked into gear and started asking questions.

A few months ago doctors discovered cancer cells inside my grandma. Unsure of where they came from, they immediately started her on chemo therapy. She had just come off her latest series of treatments and things were looking up. The amount of cancer cells were greatly reduced and it looked like things might be ok. The treatment had left her very dehydrated and slightly diabetic, so my aunt had taken her to the hospital. They had put her on an IV and she was feeling much better. My aunt and her had spent the whole morning laughing and talking and they were going to go to lunch. My grandma went into the bathroom, called my aunt in to help her stand up, said she was dizzy and needed to sit back down, and was dead almost by the time she sat back down. A blood clot had moved up from her leg and into her heart.

My grammy helped raise me. I spent as much time with her as I did with my parents after my parents divorce. From kindergarten until 7th grade, I saw her almost everyday. She gave me breakfast and took me to school, picked my up after school, took me to the library, took me to practices, she was always there. There is more comfort to take in her death than others I have dealt with. She was a Christian, she lived a long and happy life, and I got 21 and a half years with her. And losing her is one of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with.

I have been thinking a lot about life since Sunday. One day I will be gone too. What kind of legacy will I leave behind me. I have been applying for ministry jobs and trying to finish my degree, this event has made me want to try even harder. I realize now more than ever how precious friends and family are. I have taken great comfort in you all during this time even if you don't realize it, or didn't even know what you were doing. (Special thank you's to the one who stopped what he was doing and turned to talk to, you have no idea how much that meant, and another thank you to the friend who has been trying to get a hold of me on im, we haven't talked in awhile but I am glad you wanted to talk, I know you didn't even know about this, but thank you.) My relationship with my girlfriend has been extremely strained that last week, she doesn't understand how I grieve and its making things hard. I am starting to wonder if this is just something we need to learn about each other or if this is just showing how different we are and that we don't know each other as well as we thought. I know things will work out for the best though. My prayers are very odd right now. I go to pray and my mind just shuts down, I have no words. I feel like I am meeting with God, like I normally do when I pray, but I have no words. So I sit and listen and wait and feel comforted, never having to say a word. Its, well I have no words, its nice though.

Anyway, I wanted to say thank you to everyone for all that you have done for me and all that you continue to do, I love you all very deeply.

Warning: Chewing Gum Eats Brains

2006-02-27T12:58:00.000-08:00

So lately I have been chewing a lot of gum. Why? Because I bought a package and it sit next to my computer and calls to me. I have discovered something about gum. If you chew enough of it, your head starts to hurt. Why? I have no idea. I think a large part of it has to do with jaw muscles and fatigue, but I have no real evidence to back up my claims. What I have noticed is that my ability for cognitive thought has decreased directly proportional to the amount of pain my head experiences. Therefore I have reached to conclusion that the makers of chewing gum are trying to eat my brain.

That being said, my church recently distributed a membership covenant to all its members. To continue to be a member of the church you have to sign and return this form. Now, I don't know if I have a problem with the principle of the idea, but how my church has decided to act it out. There are seven different items on the covenant. Of these seven, only one pertains to the beliefs of the church. The rest involve commitment level to the church and promising to follow the direction of the leadership of the church. Now if the covenant only contained what the church believed and would preach I'm not sure I would have a problem. However, all this feels like is another step of hoops to go through to get to be considered a member. Now according to the leadership most of this covenant stuff is to ensure people start getting involved in the church and we can begin to restore community. Almost all the problems we have at the church (I attend and am involved in ministry at a "mega church" with a normal attendance of about 3000) stem from the fact that we have no real sense of community. This stems from the fact that we really didn't start to work on small groups/ Bible studies until after we were already close to 2000. Small groups/ Bible studies are how you maintain a solid community of close members inside large church settings. My major point is, if you are involved in any church what so ever, encourage your leadership to begin small group/ Bible studies, run by members. This way when you grow you will still have communities that come together to worship instead of strangers who see each other once a week and sit next to each other while someone preaches and some other people sing on stage.

Anyway, if you have any comments, please leave them. I like to hear other peoples ideas on my thoughts.

Life, this side of crazy

2006-02-24T13:25:00.000-08:00

Today I found myself in a very weird mood. I'm not entirely sure why. I think it had something to do with how my day started. About a half an hour into work a sales rep for one of our courier services came in. My boss suspected that they were giving us the run around and over charging us for their services. Since the guy is a salesman, he came in trying to butter us up, with doughnuts. I love doughnuts. However these pastry impostors were purchased at Walmart and instead of saying doughnuts on the box it said "Sugar Covered Yeast Rings." I don't know if you have ever had a yeast ring but they look like a doughnut. They, however, lack any of the sweetness normally associated with ring shaped pastries. The meager sugar covering did little to alleviate this. Yet still I consumed five of these yeast rings. I am sure they are the start of the weirdness.

This weirdness (some call it crazy) is not without its entertaining moments. For instance at lunch I found most of the soundtrack to The Prince and the Pauper (Mickey Mouse version) stuck in my head. I don't know how this happened since it has been at least eight years since I saw the movie last, but there it was, in my head, stuck. I have also been quoted today saying that crazy+theology = cult leader. This is how my whole day has gone.

No Stranger Song Written

2006-02-23T15:15:00.000-08:00

So I just finished reading the fifth book in the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. Its called Song of Susannah. He is a one of a kind author. I won't tell you much about it, so as not to ruin it for people who want to read it (though I wouldn't recommend it to most). It is nice to know that there is a writer out there who just lets it flow from his mind. He doesn't try to fit into some clever formula or outline. This series has really given me a lot of inspiration and motivation to continue my own writing. If I write something worthwhile it will make its way up here, I promise.

In other news, I recently downloaded and have begun messing around with Fish Tycoon. Why I don't go buy actual fish and a tank I don't know. I don't know if I really like the game or not but I keep staring at the little fish swimming around on the screen. I ever felt sad when I killed one. Something is very wrong with my brain.

Movie review time! Must Love Dogs actually turned out to be a pretty good movie. I originally picked it up because I seem to have a strange affinity for John Cusack movies. I don't really know why but it seems like every time I decide to go buy movies, and I pick up two or more, he's in one of them. Anyway, I don't know why but I really liked this movie. The writing is solid, the guy keeps looking like an idiot and a complete spaz, people rediscover a chance at romance... Ok, so its a like most other romantic comedies but very well written. (Aside from the stereotypical gay couple and their gay/not too gay debate.) All in all if you're in the mood for a good laugh and some romance, this is the way to go. 8/10.

Just to let you know, I tend to hop around a lot. My best friend and co worker is always asking me for context. So be prepared for sudden leaps to different topics and the for me to leap back again. I can't help it...

Last thing today. If you haven't heard of The Fray, you really need to check them out. If you like either Coldplay or old Lifehouse stuff you will like them. They started here in Colorado and were one of our best kept secrets. Now we share them with the world (or a major label noticed them, you pick.) There are samples of their songs on the website. Nice poetry in their lyrics and solid musicianship (they use a piano and everything!) And if you like them please support them and buy their CD. They could use the support.

That's it for now.

All in a days work

2006-02-22T15:02:00.000-08:00

It's funny how hard it is to think of something clever to say when you actually are trying. At this point in my life I work in a mailroom. Throughout the day I encounter about one-sixteenth of the entire staff, those with mail needs. Nine times out of ten I can come up with some kind of witty or comical (most likely sarcastic) comment to make. I have even begun to build up a bit of a reputation due to it, with nicknames and everything (more on that some other time.)However, I have sat here and stared at this screen for the last fifteen (ok, twenty minutes) trying to think of something humorous or profound to say and I have come up with exactly nothing. Considering I want to be a professional writer someday this is disheartening. Not in the "woe is me, my life is ruined" kind of way; but more along the lines of "I really suck today kind of way, oh well think of monkeys, monkeys with bananas, that's always amusing." I don't know why monkeys are always funny but they are.

I just spent two minutes deleting the word "don't" and replacing it with "do not". Why? Because years of english classes in both high school and college have taught me that "in formal writing do not use contractions" (though most of them said don't in that quote, which always struck me as funny.)So, my debate was do I try to write formally or not, I finally decided this debate wasn't worth thinking about and left the last one I typed there.

When you drop off mail there tends to be at least three boxes or slots to drop them in. One says "Stamped Letters", one says "Metered Letters", one says "Airmail" or "International Letters". The big secret behind all this is that when the postman comes he dumps them all in one big bin. Your $.39 stamp money at work...

I will give you movie and book reviews when I feel like it and the movie or book is worth reviewing because it is a) fantastically great, or b) horrible and I spin you a tale or warning and woe.

Finally, I love House, M.D. on FOX. Each week on Wednesday morning I will review the show and give you quotes I thought were funny. The show has amazing writing, actors, stories and sarcasm, as well as many "I can't believe he did that!" or "Can he do that?" moments. Give it a try. It's on Tuesday nights 9/8c.